Revival

Some of you know – indeed, almost all of you who know me in real life – that we’re been trying to get pregnant for the past two years. It is a process that wears you down.  We started with 22 “specimen” from one donor, a wonderful man who has been a friend of mine for almost two decades. We also had 2 specimen from a close friend’s anonymous donor, which produced her two songs.   We’re now down to 6 vials left.  I’ve been taking Chinese herbs to boost my fertility, I did acupuncture.  Kaphine has had ultrasounds and taken Western meds (Clomid, Ovudril).  Everything LOOKS like we should be able to conceive, but we haven’t.  Which might not mean anything – some straight couples try for longer than we have. But man, this process is exhausting.  And I’ve been trying to protect our privacy and not overshare for two years, so I’ve never written about it on the blog.  But I think that has made me feel more exhausted. So I’m writing about it now.

We’re in the process of trying to adopt a child through an open adoption agency.  That means we’ll hopefully have some level of contact with our birth parents, and know something about them to tell our child.  It feels more comfortable than adopting through social services (where someone is invariably being told ‘you’re not good enough’ before a child makes its way to us) or through international adoption (often sketchy, often anti-gay).   And it feels more comfortable than some of the heroic measures people take to try and conceive their own child, like IVF.   Neither of us want to put our bodies through that, especially given we don’t really know what the impact of it is, especially given the number of children out there who need homes. But adoption is an exhausting process too, and for the first time in two years, suddenly we have someone else in the middle of our process, which feels intrusive. The agency has been great; it’s not them. It’s just the process.

I am so sick of PROCESSING trying to have a child. I just fucking want to have one already.

Advertisements

~ by realsupergirl on January 16, 2011.

3 Responses to “Revival”

  1. Ugh, what she said. Just to re-iterate how long this process takes, we have been trying to conceive for two years, but that doesn’t account for the two years we spent preparing to try. A year of diet and exorcise trying to bring our weight down to boost fertility, a year of charting cycles and waiting for access to our known-donor specimen (waiting for his visit to donate, a full six month quarantine and a bunch of follow-up tests and paperwork). Add the cancer diagnosis into the middle of that and ugh, this is taking FOREVER. I absolutely hate it when anyone makes breeding look easy (that doesn’t mean I hate the people who breed easily, just that it feels so unfair that conception goes out of turn).

  2. Good luck proceeding with the adoption, either way I think you will make great moms.

  3. […] original post here: Revival Click here for more information on Fertility Acupuncture. This entry was posted in Uncategorized […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: