Day 18

Today two dear friends got married. They held our chuppah nine and a half years ago when we got married, but delayed their own nuptials in solidarity with other queer couples who couldn’t marry legally. Which says a lot about why we selected them to hold our chuppah – they were one of two couples from our peer group who pre-dated us as a couple, who modeled for us what a couple could be.

Today before their ceremony there was an interesting conversation about the Torah portion “Bo” which is this week’s portion. In particular, about how we can as human beings be both welcoming and open while standing up for ourselves and what we stand for. In the portion, it was about the Israelites being inclusive, while not celebrating the destruction of Egyptians as they fled. In contemporary times, it’s about being open and affirming but also standing up to the bigots amongst us who are not open and affirming of us. Someone pointed out that in the time before the Civil War in America no one would have expected freed slaves to be open and affirming of those who would like to see them remain enslaved. There have to be limits.

But we can also hold onto hope that people will change. The alternative to holding onto hope is that our hearts harden. Like Pharoah’s.


~ by realsupergirl on January 19, 2015.

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