Day 22

Family is complicated. We put up with shit we wouldn’t put up with in anyone else. Often, they take advantage of this fact, and they behave particularly badly with us because unlike a friend or a boss, they know we won’t fire them. This is true, even if they aren’t doing it consciously. Thy presume unconditionality, even when they don’t deserve it. And up to a point, they are right. There are limits. Abusive behavior should not be tolerated, even from family.

So then comes the in laws. I feel less obligation to tolerate bad behavior, because I don’t have the same history I have with my own family. But I am also less comfortable calling them out. And I can’t really reject them outright. They are often the price of admission in marriage.

There’s no good answer, but sometimes the best consolation is the 1500 miles between you and difficult family.

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~ by realsupergirl on January 23, 2015.

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