Day 46: Father/daughter dances are creepy

We’re up to four. Four different people have posted photos in the past month of “father/daughter” dance shots of either themselves or their husbands.

I’m flabbergasted. All I can think is, we still do this shit? From where I sit, a “father/daughter dance” is just one or two notches away from a Purity Ball. It’s fetishizing young girls, it’s sexist and archaic. Not to mention, it just makes single mothers and queer families feel left out.   And it’s not just me who makes this association between “father/daughter dances” and Purity Balls – it you look up “father/daughter dance” in Wikipedia, at the bottom of the page it says “see also Purity Ball.”

Here’s a quick test for whether it’s sexist and heterosexist: Have you ever heard of a mother/son dance? How about a mother/daughter dance of a father son/dance? When schools start offering these dances, I’ll be convinced it’s not sexist. But they won’t, because they don’t play to the same narrative we perpetuate in this culture: little girls are helpless, little girls need a man’s protection, little girls need a father to protect them. Then they grow up and this becomes women are helpless, women need to be protected, women need a man. And all this plays right into “rape culture.”

Because girls are raised with this bullshit, they grow up expecting men to know what to do sexually, and men to tell them what they like.

It’s worth noting these sort of things don’t fly in communities where there’s a quorum of single parents or queer parents. But I’m guessing there’s one of two single parents or queer families even in the suburban white middle class communities where this is happening, and I hope they speak up and shut it down.  But what a target on their back they make for themselves if they do.

If you must have a dance with your parent, call it a parent/child dance. I don’t know why anyone would want to go to a dance with their mother or their father, though. Even at 12 I’m pretty sure I would have been mortified to attend a dance with my father OR my mother. But that’s just me.

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~ by realsupergirl on February 15, 2015.

One Response to “Day 46: Father/daughter dances are creepy”

  1. Thank you for saying exactly what I have been thinking!!

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