Open Letter to People Who Consider Suicide (Day 125)

I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, and that there is a debilitating mental illness that we call depression. I wish there wasn’t. And if you have tried medication and found it doesn’t work, I am sorry for that too. I am sorry the science of knowing what helps is so imperfect and incomplete. It is getting better every day, but I know that’s of little help to you right now.

I want plead with you to try and continue to hang on. I can’t promise it will get better, but it might. It often does. And while the last thing you need is to feel guilt – and please know that it is not my goal in writing this to provoke guilt – I want to you know that your death will irrevocably change many people’s lives forever.

In ten days it will be the 22nd anniversary of Hilary Caroline Lewis’ suicide. She struggled with depression for years, and tried medications that didn’t work. But you know what? That was 22 years ago, and we have five times as many medications for depression now. Almost every day there’s some cause for me to think “I wonder if this new medication or treatment would have helped?”

I also think of her and miss her at every major life event. She left behind family who will never fully recover from the loss of a child, but she also left behind several close friends. Many of us have kids now, and I am sure I am not the only one who mourns that she will never meet our children.

Please, stay with us. Get help if you aren’t already doing so. There is almost certainly someone who will miss you terribly if you take your life away from them, and while that isn’t a good enough reason to live forever, maybe it’s a good enough reason to live for now. For now.

Love ,

Realsupergirl

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~ by realsupergirl on May 5, 2015.

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