Weekend is almost here! Weekend is almost here! And we get an extra day.
Here’s the the thing about bullying – it leaves scars that never leave you. Most of the time I go about my life feeling pretty good about myself, knowing I have friends and enjoying their company. But every now and then something happens – it could be a relatively minor disconnect or misperception (misunderstanding in social planning) or small scale rejection (declining a social invitation, but not future one) but it hits me. And all of a sudden, I’m ten and being terrorized by Walker Bond in elementary school for being fat or Kaveh Saidi in middle school for my hairy arms. And I feel small and rejected. It’s not rational. Not even remotely.
I recover. It often takes patient reassurances from friends and my spouse. But there’s the thing I feel compelled to say, now that I’ve named bullies. In high school, Walker Bond came up to me and apologized for being a jerk in elementary school. I hadn’t talked to him since fifth grade. But I remembered, and I did he apparently. He didn’t have to. But it mattered. And this is important for parents to hear – if your kids are engaging in in bullying behavior, empathy matters. I’m not talking about superficial apologies on the playground. I’m talking about genuine empathy for other people. It al lot easier to forgive Walker Bond after that moment. Empathy matters.
I’m still waiting to hear from Kaveh.
Fast trip to New York
Oliver Sacks has left us
Finally got to see the Hump Tour. Because Massachusetts was founded by Puritans, I had to travel to Brooklyn to see it, but we made it.
Here’s my run down of the 2014 Hump Tour lineup: my reviews are in italics, the other text is the description written by the producers.
Butthole Lickin – 2008 To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question two women must explore after one rims the other. Lesbian processing has never looked so good. Really funny and well done.
Cyclust – 2009 A lesbian love-and-lust story told in still images. “Best lesbian sex scene in Hump ever,” said one jury member. “Totally sweet and really hot – proves that you don’t need a dude, a strap-on, or a traffic cone to make hot lesbian porn.” I thought it was really sweet, and hot, and I get that th jerky filmy style contributed to the riding bikes feel, but it made me a littl dizzy to watch it. Bonus points because I totally recognized it was filmed in the Ladd’s Additin of Portland.
Twincest – 2010 Nothing like a good song ‘n’ dance number about twin sibling incest to cleanse the palate! Funny and catchy but um, creepy.
Miller’s Daughter – 2011 Why is this gorgeous, Super 8 animated film, starring some shexy-shexy cutout silhouette figures in HUMP! and not the National Archives? Probably something about the blow jobs. Eh, this one didn’t do anything for me. Not particularly interesting or sexy, IMO.
Porn All The Time – 2013 A rap song/video about excessive porn intake. Dan Savage is still walking around humming this tune! yeah I was surprised how catchy this tune is. I kind of want to buy it. Good use of cheap amateur cinematography.
Humparaoke – 2014 Attractive people sing karaoke and somehow end up in a big, naked shower orgy lip-synching into a Hitachi Magic Wand! Really fucking funny. And hot.
The Grocer – 2014 The triumph of cinematic kink has forever changed how several thousand humans view grapes and carrots – and won these filmmakers the 2014 Hump award for Best Kink. Pretty funny and well done, kind of predictable.
Art Primo – 2013 This beautifully shot film features a group of stunning women, nudity, sweat, and some playful slapping — an amazing slice of all women erotica, and a favorite with HUMP! audiences! Eh, this one didn’t do anything for me. Not particularly interesting or sexy, IMO.
EdenXXX – 2012 Years’ worth of home video footage from two massively horny Burners condensed into two unforgettable minutes of furry hats, glitter, and blowjobs galore. Eh, these two are a little too in love with themselves.
Rube – 2014 A book called Rube, plus a handful of LUBE, triggers a chain reaction you won’t believe. Omg this one was totally my favorite. So so goo. And smart. And hot. And creative. Which makes it hotter.
FUCK – 2013 Fuck, a moving and erotic spoken-word monologue filmed in black and white. Very moving artsy. Loved seeing an untraditional, woman of color baring it all and loving herself.
Beethoven’s Stiff – 2013 While a penis conducts Beethoven’s Fifth, a Vagina plays a French Horn. This is precisely what would happen if your genitals dedicated themselves to classical music. Very creative, and funny. Ouch.
Bedtime Stories – 2013 Imagine what it would look like if classic tales like “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” were reenacted by… you know, the other kind of bears. The kind with erections! Cute concept, could have done more with it. Wanted to like it more but it did wind up being very sweet.
Anal Alley – 2013 A late night television infomercial for a butt plug bowling set that makes good and dirty use of all three extra credit props in the 2013 HUMP! festival: butt plugs, bowling pins, and Hillary Clinton! This is totally the fake SNL ad the wish the could do but can’t. Because, you know, butt plug. Our country was founded by Puritans.
The Glory Hole – 2014 Winner of the 2014 Best in Show award. This heartwarming new porno classic-based on a true “met-not-so-cute” story-dazzled HUMP! audiences more than any other film, and earned its makers a glamorous $5,000 cash prize! So sweet. It was kind of like the When Harry Met Sally that got cut put, if they’d had any queer couples in that movie. My spouse’s favorite.
The Caller, Part 2 – 2014 Why order a pizza when you can call a sex worker instead. Pretty funny, but I wanted them to actually have sex.
No Artificial Sweeteners – 2014 Tattooed lady has dinner party and serves too much wine, causing non tattooed guy to spend night on couch, only to be awakened with black coffee and a dizzying amount of hot hetro sex! It was hot but lacked story until the end, and by then I loved it. Great ended, great filming and pace.
Cinderfella – 2014 One of the world’s best loved fairy tales gets a magical, sparkly, ass-eating makeover. Funny and sexy and really well done. Excellent work all around.
In light of today’s horrific shooting, I’m just going meditate on this quote for tonight.
“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals because they seem so absurd and impossible to implement. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever-approaching thunder which will destroy us too, I can feel the suffering of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquillity will return again. In the meantime, I must uphold my ideals for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out.” — Anne Frank, July 1944
I read a theory that in the Harry Potter universe, Snape, Voldemort, and Harry are the modern versions of the Peverell brothers in the wizard fairy tale. Snape is the brother chasing lost love, Voldemort is chasing power which he believes exists in one, unbeatable wand, and Harry is the one who just wants to live and enjoy his life. The same theory goes on to wonder then, in this metaphor, who Dumbledore is, and people have proposed Dumbledore is death himself, since Dumbledore is who Harry sees when he is willing to die in order to let Voldemort destroy the piece of his soul he inadvertently deposited in Harry. Apparently Rowling hasten endorsed this theory on Twitter, but I don’t buy it.
First of all, Harry didn’t die. Where he went isn’t clear, but the magical world is somewhat mysterious. But Rowling has suggested consistently throughout the series – usually through the character of Dumbledore – that death is final. Having Harry “die” but not be dead would be inconsistent with that. Second, I think that interpretation misses the point for the Dumbledore/Grindelwald backstory and the message Dumbledore is always trying to teach Harry – what matters most is our choices. If anything, I think Dumbledore is meant to be the flip side of Voldemort. Both grew to be powerful wizards, who pushed the limits of magic, both craves power, but Voldemort died obsessed with power, saw the damage his love of power caused and turned away from it. I think he turned away from it initially when he saw th effect it had on his friend – perhaps lover – Grindelwald. I think he was tested later when he discovered the elder wand and realized for a brief period he had all three Hallows in his possession. But he gave up the invisibility cloak, thus making his choice to choose love over power again.
Thursday was the anniversary of the day I met my new spouse, 17 years ago.
Friday was the annoversary of the dat we got married, ten years ago.
When I lived in San Antonio, I went to clubs every weekend. The Bonham, the Wild, the Saint, F/X. When I lived in Portland I went to clubs there. Embers, the City, the Brig, Queer Night at La Luna, the Egyptian Room.
I’ve lived in Boston since 1999 and I’ve never been to a single dance club.
The last time I was single, I put an ad in the Wiilamette Week, a free paper in Portland. I had to put it in the “other” section because I didnt want to pick between women seeking women and women seeking men. There was not OKCupid, no Match.com, no FetLife.
As Marie says in When Harry Met Sally, “please tell me I’ll never have to be out there again.”